Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Results Are In

Had an endoscopy yesterday and everything is a-ok with my band. I vow to never drink a margarita, tequila, or anything out of a straw ever again.

I'm going to write this, but understand everything I write because it's going to sound bad and I don't mean it to. In the two years that I've had this band, I have never had as much pain as I had this past month. The only way to describe it is that it felt like my stomach and esophagus were getting squeezed to death. I'm so glad nothing is wrong, but at the same time it makes me feel bad that there isn't because I'm afraid it makes me look like the girl who cried wolf.

When my husband had surgery last year to remove a tumor, the incision on his belly got infected. Everyday for 1 week after surgery, I would say, "I think this is infected." I called the doctor twice and both times the nurse said don't call back until he has a fever of 103. Welp, I listened and the next time we called back was when he started bleeding profusely from his incision. He didn't have a fever, but he had an infection that was bad enough to land him a week long hospital stay.

I'm not going to go overboard, but when something is truly wrong, I will never in my life let a nurse blow me off like that again. This time, I was persistent because there was something very wrong. Thank goodness it wasn't serious or permanent, but I'm afraid I've used up my persistence card with my doctors!

I think ill round out the month on liquids, enjoy some food on vacation and then head back to the dr for an adjustment when I return in late Feb. I want to lose 5 more lbs before vacation!

Friday, January 24, 2014


It's 4:00 am...been up for 2 hours... If I fall asleep in the next hour my whole day will be messed up....the only thing left to do is go to the Y and sweat it out.

I was already a light sleeper and an early riser but I think this phentermin is keeping me up. Oh well, no sleep 'til 199 lbs 👍

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

A little band trouble!

Phew this year has been a crazy one but good! The weekend before New Year's Day I drank a margarita and in the days that followed my stomach and esophagus felt like they quadrupled in size. I immediately started sipping water and protein and basically followed my post-op liquid diet. I didn't panic and moved  up my appt. to see my P.A. I didn't sleep for days because when I would lay down at night time, all I could do was wonder if my organs were getting severed. It was terribly painful, but was tolerable if I stuck to tiny sips of water and protein.

I was about 1 week away from my appointment and I finally just called in and let them know I needed to come in earlier. My lovely PA saw me on an off day and emptied the band completely. We talked about a lot and I talked a ton to her about everything. I specifically asked if I could have an appetite suppressant to take while my band is empty. She was happy to and I'm glad she did. I have such a hard time yo-yoing as it is, this will at least help me get through however long this band needs to be empty.

I also asked her if I could talk to someone about my serious yo-yo dieting issue. I can honestly say that weight is the only thing in my life I have not been able to overcome! It's crazy, even at 300 pounds, I never had an issue diving into whatever I wanted to. When I want to do something I figure it out and If I want to, I do it well. It's just this weight thing that I can't figure out how to overcome. I lost 70 lbs in 4 months with the lapband and then I proceeded to pile half of it back on! Then I lost it again....and then this past November, I came dangerously close to swinging back into danger zone again. I put on about 10 lbs in a month or two. Seriously, WTF? When I'm in a bad place, I'm in a bad place and I can't seem to get myself out of it. It's not depression, it's like this blind need to eat EVERYTHINNNGGG.  Interestingly enough, I think my last post about my band being too tight, triggered this last episode of weight gain.

Either way, she gave me a referral and I'm excited to talk to someone in a week or two. I'll do anything it takes to make this work. I thought that having a $30,000.00 surgery would be enough for me, but apparently I need a little more than that. Oh well, no shame in it, just have to keep trying.

So, this is my second unfill since having my band. Both times, I drank a margarita from a straw and then all hell broke loose. I find that interesting because my sister has recently talked about being allergic to tequila. She said that when she drinks a margarita, her chest gets really hot and it makes her feel itchy and uncomfortable.

I have an endoscopy scheduled with my surgeon on the 27th and we'll see if there is something else going on in there. I've eaten soft foods about 4-5 times since the new year and everything else has been protein shakes. Quite frankly, I'm not even sick of them and I love losing weight like this.

I can still feel some discomfort in my band, but Prilosec and Phentramine are keeping the hunger and burning away for now. Working out is going great in fact even when I felt the worst, it was the only thing I could do to take my mind off of my organs getting smooshed.

I had a great time this past Saturday with my sweet friend Miss Hollee at a bootcamp in Durham. My shoulders are still recovering from that shit! I'm so grateful to have her in my life! Everybody needs a banded girlfriend that understands what's happening in your life.

I hope everyone else is doing fab and having a wonderful 2014.