Well I knew this was going to happen, now I just have to figure out how to get past it.
I opted to have lap band surgery because I've yo-yo dieted my whole life.I would lose 25-40 lbs and then sabotage myself until I was 10 lbs heavier than when I started. I didn't like that I did it, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it for some reason. I kept doing that until I almost hit 300 lbs.
So I've lost over 50 lbs, more than I've ever lost on any diet. I've had two great fills, and now I find myself trying to eat more and more.
I'm still ok - I'm still under 1500 calories a day, but I can't keep up weight loss if I let my old habits creep back in.
This week my goal is to stay under 1,000 cals at least 5 days with No snacking after 8:00. I need to get my head right!
I don't think you are alone in this. I have done the exact same thing as I am sure we all have or we wouldn't be making this choice. My surgery is the 16th, my dear Dad was questioning my choice this weekend as I started my pre-op diet. I have lost 15lbs since I started and his question was "if you can do it before the surgery why would you have it done?" I know he means well but come on, he has been witness to the dramatic weight loss over and over again just to watch me put it back on. I quietly explained that I can do it alone on a short term basis but I need this to be permanent. I do worry about my self sabotaging ways and my "need" for junk food and binging.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing fantastic and so is your husband. Keep a positive attitude and write, write and write some more when the urge gets powerful.
Ditto Susan!! We all have done it, and we are all on this journey to work through the old habits and start new and improved healthy habits. You can do it...Look at you!!! you are just over 2 weeks ahead of me and you have lost 56 pounds!!!! you are over half way to 100 pounds lost!!! in just what 10-11 weeks?? You are zooming through this and you are keeping it real with yourself...you are aware of old behavior and you are making an effort to change the old for the better!!! There shall be NO sabotage here, mistakes yes, lessons learned yes, going back to the dark hole we have come so far out of NO NO NO NO!!! You are the double work out a day DIVA DONNA!!! I wish this "head" stuff was as easy as the portion stuff...I find the portions to be fine, the food choices to be endless and the sticking to the rules to be quite reasonable....it is the "head" stuff that just drives you to the brink I tell ya!!! You got this Donna, you so got this!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I need to wrap my brain around the fact that you have lost so much weight so quickly without hardly any help from fills. Be proud of yourself for that!!
ReplyDelete2nd - this time it's different!!! We aren't going to get to a certain point and gain it all back. This is why we took the extra setep to have surgery once and for all. You have so got this. You just need to examine what works for you, what doesn't, get a fill if you need one and cut back on small things if the calories get too high.
I look up to you!!!
I'm sorry you guys, I probably sound like a whiney bitch! I'm super proud of losing so much weight. There's still so much to lose and I get so scared of the weight loss just stopping! It's a long road still and I want to change my head so bad! Even though I know that I shouldn't be able to gain all of the weight back I think it's just engrained in my brain that it will happen because it always has happened. blah blah blah I'll stop being ridiculous! haha thank you so much for being fab friends!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely normal and do not apologize for putting your feelings out there. We just need to kick each other's butts once in awhile to get our heads back in the right place. I have a challenge for you. You need to write a post on here of your NSV's. Take some measurements, etc... and wrap your brain around it that way.
DeleteAlso - I saw your post about the shamrock shake. Totally not worth it from McHell. HOWEVER - if you have the craving, make one at home. There are two VERY lite and amazing versions online which will satisfy your taste for it pronto. One - at Eggface's site. Second, on Hungry Girls site. If you need the websites to either, let me know and I will send them to you on FB.
I am beyond amazed at your progress and so incredibly proud of you. You are not going to gain it back. You will be at maintenance before you know it and rocking some new skinny clothes! *BIG HUGS TO YOU* !!!!