Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Journey Starts Here.

On September 25th 2010, my husband and I exchanged wedding bands. On December 19, 2011 we'll be getting bands of a much different kind.  After over a year of preparations, we're scheduled for Lap Band Surgery at Duke Raleigh Hospital 3 days from now.

We were at the hospital last week for our pre-op testing and all of the nurses were a buzz. They thought it was so cool that we were taking on this new step together. One of them even told us we should write a book. Well, let's start with a blog and go from there ......

I met my husband (MS)on St. Patrick's Day in 2008. I was on the Atkin's Diet for the 5th or 6th time and at that point had lost over 40 lbs. Right now at this very moment, I'm 50 pounds heavier than I was that day. piss. In my adult life there has never been a time that I haven't been overweight. I gain, I lose, i gain it all back, the cycle repeats itself over and over and over. Weight is the only thing in my life that I feel like I can't control. Failed diet after diet has me feeling defeated and like a failure. Why can't I do this? What is wrong with me?

To add fuel to the fire, I was diagnosed with PCOS a few years back and until now have only had to deal with a few annoying symptoms that go with it. But when MS and I started talking about kids and trying to get pregnant, I knew I'd have a problem. We decided that we'd start trying right after the wedding, because it was definitely going to take some time.

I'm a very spiritual person. I pray a lot and keep my heart and mind open to signs and arrows that God places along my path. I like to call those winks.

One day, a week after we got married, I sat in the oral surgeon's office at Duke while MS had his wisdom teeth removed.  I was going to do work from the waiting room but I couldn't get on the wi-fi. How annoying. Wink. Thanks, God. So I picked up a magazine and flipped right to an article about the dangers of being obese while pregnant. It also talked about how much danger it actually puts the fetus in. Shit. The article mentioned PCOS and how lap band surgery has completely helped women lose weight and have healthy babies. Hmm.

Up until that point, I wouldn't have even considered weight loss surgery (WLS). I like food too much to mess around with that. I figured I was just going to have to struggle with myself for the rest of my life.

I thought about it for a month or so. Read about it, and started getting comfortable with the fact that this might be an option for me. Then one day I mustered up the courage to tell MS and we talked about it for quite a long time. In fact, before we met, he was already in the process of having the surgery himself.

We went to two informational meetings and the Duke meeting was hands down our choice. We both felt so comfortable with the surgeon and his presentation and we decided to move forward.
We went through all of our appointments between November and December of 2010 and planned for a spring surgery. The insurance company had other plans, so here we are today. Surgery is 3 days out. I have to say I'm more scared of the 3 week post op liquid diet than the actual surgery itself.
I'm confident and calm and I feel good about this decision. I have prayed my heart out and researched this procedure up and down. This is our path.  I feel obligated to start this blog because there are so many banded-bloggers out there that have inspired me and taught me a lot about this process, I want to pay it forward. Hopefully one day, someone who has gone through the same struggles will read this and find inspiration. So whoever you are, God brought you here,  here's your wink ;)

Over the next year I plan to post pictures, keep track of weight loss and reveal the good and the bad. I hope you'll pray for us, and cheer us on.

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