My whole life is changing.

This is definitely a life changing surgery. I mean that in the absolute best possible way. I've always struggled with weight, even when I was young and skinny. It seems like every day this week I've noticed little things in my head that are changing.

My whole life has been a series of yo-yo diets. To give you an idea. In the 6th grade I remember having a conversation with a teacher where I said, "yep we go on a diet before vacation and then we gain it all back while we're in Florida". That's one of those moments I've never forgotten because right after I said it, he looked at his "assistant" and busted out laughing at me. Asshole.

Then in college I remember my mom wanting me to go on a prescription diet pill that keeps you from feeling hungry. I got the pills, but I didn't see the point in taking them because feeling hungry wasn't a problem for me. I was never hungry, I just always wanted to eat. When it's lunch time I want to eat, when it's dinner time i want to eat, when I go to the mall I want to get something to eat. It's after dinner and I .... you get the idea. It never mattered to me about feeling hungry, I was and have always been addicted to food.

5 years ago I changed careers. I went from standing up all day, walking, carrying boxes and getting up and down to sitting all day long. I used to eat fast food for lunch everyday and maintain my weight. I was overweight, but I was burning a lot more calories everyday.

In the first few months on the job I gained 17 pounds. Went back to Atkins, lost 40, and met my husband. I've been packing it back on ever since.

I'll have to say this week has been pretty cool. All these changes are effecting me for the good. This band is forcing me to look to food more for nutrition instead entertainment. For instance, I need to get 50+ grams of protein in every day because it is the only thing that is giving me energy and helping me heal. If I slack on protein, it could slow my healing, or even worse, make my hair fall out. Wait. My hair? Nope. not happening. I have a damn lion's mane for hair and it's not going anywhere.

This morning I got up and went shopping so I just grabbed a slim fast shake and didn't add any protein powder. I made MS hummus for lunch and was going to have some, but just made the choice to go with greek yogurt instead for the protein. It sounds stupid as I tell the story back, but that is a huge change for me.

When I used to cook, food was going in my mouth throughout the entire process. Slice of cheese on a sandwich, and a slice of cheese in my mouth while i make it. Cut 1 piece of chicken, put one piece in my mouth.  I would put money on the fact that I ate more calories while cooking dinner than i even needed in a day.

Now that I'm weighing out my food and I can only eat 2 ounces of mushy food 3 times a day ... I can see that 1 heaping spoonful of something is about 1 oz. YIKES! I can't imagine how many ounces of food I've eaten just taste testing my recipes. I can't afford to haphazardly put things in my mouth like that any more. When I was done making hummus today, I coated the back of a spoon and took a little taste. Huge change.

I read a post on lapbandtalk.com today and saw that a woman has lost 90+ pounds in 6 months. She said she works out every day and eats 1000 -1200 calories a day. When she really craves something she doesn't deprive herself. She's my inspiration. I really look forward to more of these little changes every day. Hopefully all of the little changes will add up to a huge weight loss.