Hi loves. I hope everyone had a great weekend! I've reached an interesting point in my lapband journey that I wanted to put out there. This is a big point for me, in fact it is why I decided to move forward with this surgery.
In my life I have lost a lot of weight. I'm talking a lot. From the time I was young up until this point in my life. Gaining it all back is a lot more fun than losing it, but for obvious reasons it is no longer an option for me.
Normally, I will put everything I have into a diet and/or exercise plan for a month or two. I'll feel awesome, I'll lose 30 or so pounds. And then I start slipping back. Slowly at first. Just a snack here or there. And then full out binge parties. I don't know why. I'm a healthy, well adjusted person. Why the hell do I do that?
There was only 1 time that I was able to lose more than 30 lbs and that was right before I met MS. I was so dedicated to the Atkins Diet and working out. Dating sucked, I was sick of being fat. I couldn't stand my roommate and I just needed a change. That really felt good. I felt like I was going to do it for real that time. MS even joined me a few months into our relationship. He lost a ton of weight as well. But then it just slowly crept back in. Lots of eating out, lots of cooking, lots of love.
So at this point in time, I have lost 33 lbs. I'm feeling good. But I can feel the old ways sneaking back. A little snack here and little extra here. I'll count out a portion and have an extra few pieces. I find myself tasting a little more as I cook. Obviously this time it's not as severe as it has been in the past. Through all of this, my caloric intake hasn't gone much over 1,000-1,200 calories in a day, but the behavior is there.
This fill that is scheduled on Tuesday is going to be a big milestone for me mentally. I need this help to push past these 33 lbs. When I get past 40 I'm really going to celebrate. It will literally be the first time in my life that I am able to defeat my own worst enemy.
These 33 lbs were just a little bunny hill. I've got a long ways to go and I need all the help I can get. In just less than 4 weeks we're going to Florida with my sister I would like to be past that 40lb mark by then! Cross your fingers for me :)