Hi loves. I hope everyone had a great weekend! I've reached an interesting point in my lapband journey that I wanted to put out there. This is a big point for me, in fact it is why I decided to move forward with this surgery.
In my life I have lost a lot of weight. I'm talking a lot. From the time I was young up until this point in my life. Gaining it all back is a lot more fun than losing it, but for obvious reasons it is no longer an option for me.
Normally, I will put everything I have into a diet and/or exercise plan for a month or two. I'll feel awesome, I'll lose 30 or so pounds. And then I start slipping back. Slowly at first. Just a snack here or there. And then full out binge parties. I don't know why. I'm a healthy, well adjusted person. Why the hell do I do that?
There was only 1 time that I was able to lose more than 30 lbs and that was right before I met MS. I was so dedicated to the Atkins Diet and working out. Dating sucked, I was sick of being fat. I couldn't stand my roommate and I just needed a change. That really felt good. I felt like I was going to do it for real that time. MS even joined me a few months into our relationship. He lost a ton of weight as well. But then it just slowly crept back in. Lots of eating out, lots of cooking, lots of love.
So at this point in time, I have lost 33 lbs. I'm feeling good. But I can feel the old ways sneaking back. A little snack here and little extra here. I'll count out a portion and have an extra few pieces. I find myself tasting a little more as I cook. Obviously this time it's not as severe as it has been in the past. Through all of this, my caloric intake hasn't gone much over 1,000-1,200 calories in a day, but the behavior is there.
This fill that is scheduled on Tuesday is going to be a big milestone for me mentally. I need this help to push past these 33 lbs. When I get past 40 I'm really going to celebrate. It will literally be the first time in my life that I am able to defeat my own worst enemy.
These 33 lbs were just a little bunny hill. I've got a long ways to go and I need all the help I can get. In just less than 4 weeks we're going to Florida with my sister I would like to be past that 40lb mark by then! Cross your fingers for me :)
I love that you put everything out there... And in all honesty who hasn't felt, done, experienced or struggled with exactly what you write about. I have, far more times then I would like to admit. How do I go from 185-195 all the way to my highest of 341? Kids can't be an excuse, especially when my baby is almost 9!!! This journey is about learning new ways to deal with old habits, good and bad and as long as we continue to be aware of our behaviors and keep trying to approach them in a different manner, we will succeed!!!;). Stumbles will happen too and those are just building blocks to firm up our foundations so it is harder to stumble next time...Your 40 pound mark is closer then you think and I bet you reach 45 or higher by the time your trip arrives!!! You will never stop at 30 again!!! Your already at 33!!! That is exciting business lady!!! So very exciting!!!;)
ReplyDeleteI was EXACTLY the same! When I hit about 40 lbs lost I realized that I was in uncharted territory.
ReplyDeleteAnd do you know what? The amazing and FUN stuff is just about to begin my friend! Get ready! :)
Lap Band Girl - You are SUCH an inspiration!!!! This "new uncharted territory" is so exciting!! You even inspire me on a comment on someone elses journey. LOL - MD: I so so so understand how you feel. I too get to that point and then they creep back on and I sabotauge myself along the way. You are past 30 aleady, wow!! I am so happy and proud of you!
Deleteyour doing great! I know you will hit 40lbs in no time!
ReplyDeleteThats what scares me....being able to lose and then have old ways creep back! Ive done that too many times on previous diets. I pray this surgery will be right for me and work. I still know i have to work at it too though. I wish my insurance would hurry up with an answer. Ahhhhh
ReplyDeleteIt is seriously a whole life change. It's not easy, but it is rewarding!
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